Building a family has taught us, over and over again, that most things are out of our control. From the more routine—unpredictable feeds, naps, and tantrums—to the more grave, like developmental and health concerns. Even if your life doesn’t include kids, its events can sometimes hit you like a ton of bricks. The world’s outside forces could be swirling chaotically around us, but we have learned to find our center and we hold. My theory is that’s why, as we age, we lean into our intuition and empowerment. A prime example is deciding to freeze your eggs, especially sans partner; to steer your own ship. Take your power back. Embracing our own inner compass, or what some might call our witchy wisdom, is one of the most generous things we can do for ourselves. The gut gets louder when we start to listen.
P.S.: Speaking of heeding our inner voice, we are allowing ourselves some breathing time at Folly. For those following Cole’s recovery, his medical team has confirmed that he will need a heart transplant. With a long road ahead, this will affect how Folly is going to look and feel over the coming months. Though it’s not going anywhere, the newsletter will change in shape and frequency, depending on life. Regardless, this will continue to be a place focused on creating and caring for families. So, as we evolve, please support, share, and watch this space.
Freezing My Eggs Meant Choosing Me
After a breakup, fertility treatments helped me get my power back.
When I first looked into freezing my eggs six years ago, I was 32 and single, and we were months into a global pandemic. I was confronted with existential questions about my own stance on motherhood: Did I even want kids? Or had I just been conditioned to want them? I had never allowed myself to imagine what life would look like if children were not in the picture. I concluded that kids did not determine my happiness or fulfillment in life, but if I did have them, I only wanted to do it with the right partner.
I told myself I’d revisit it at 35. That age came and went, and I still didn’t feel a strong pull. Then I started dating someone seriously. He definitely wanted kids, but wasn’t ready just yet. As the relationship progressed, from long distance to moving in together, I really felt that I could build a life, marriage, and family with this person, who said he wanted those things with me, too. But still not yet. I hung on to the word “yet”—which is free for the person saying it and enormously expensive for the person receiving it. I cycled through months of allowing space and revisiting the conversation, hoping that clarity would emerge. It finally did, in the form of a breakup. I realized I had been choosing someone who was not choosing me.
Accessories to embrace your inner witch
With the release of Practical Magic 2 and the impending Halloween season, we are feeling witchy as hell. But you don’t have to embrace the dark arts solely on October 31. We happen to think that ’90s goth is alive and well (thank you, Olivia Rodrigo) and something you can imbue into your everyday life. As Sandra Bullock and Amy Poehler discussed on a recent episode of Good Hang, it’s about time we lean into our “witchy wisdom.” —Jess Mayhugh
Prepping for a 5K that raises money for the hospital where Cole is being treated. Feel free to sign up, share, or support.
A Killer Story on HBO (new episode tonight!) is a true crime/journalism lover’s dream doc. If you can’t be the Keen to my Eileen, then get lost.
I fear a clear indication of my aging is how excited I am for a new season of Dancing with the Stars. In a world of bad news and chaos, it’s something to watch to feel hopeful, and maybe even shed a tear or two.
Lady Tremaine is a Cinderella retelling from the POV of the evil stepmother (but she’s not really evil). It conveys the lengths she would go to for her children and what mothers sacrifice for their kids in general.
Journaling has come in clutch for my mental health, and I had to buy this one for the name alone.
“We took our daughter out to an early breakfast on vacation and each ordered for her separately. We looked down as she was eating a massive fudge brownie covered in mini M&Ms and a huge pancake dusted with powdered sugar and extra thick maple syrup. Whoops!” —Folly reader Katie B.
Were you forwarded this email? Subscribe here.
