When Healing Isn’t Linear

You’ve probably noticed we’ve been a little scattered lately, doing our best and asking for thoughts of encouragement to be sent our way. For those who don’t know, my son Cole has been diagnosed with a genetic heart condition and we’ve spent the last 23 days in the hospital with him. (You can read more of the nitty-gritty here.) The experience has been terrifying and exhausting and the feeling of helplessness is off the charts. As parents, all we want to do is keep our babies safe and comfortable, and circumstances beyond our control have kept us from doing that. This is, heartbreakingly, not the first time we’ve dealt with a life-threatening situation with our child, and we are reliving a lot of the same nightmarish trauma we went through four years ago.

Of course, the two situations are incredibly different. We have a lot of hope for Cole. And our day-to-day life still revolves around much of what it did before he got sick: feeding him, changing him, reading him books, playing with toys, and taking walks. We’re just now in a pediatric cardiac ICU. I officially consider myself a SAHM (stay-at-hospital mom). I know every inch of the unit floor, the best outdoor spots to eat lunch, the easiest days to do laundry. Security officers have started waving me past. I am a regular. I deeply empathize with those who have made a hospital their home, and I have already been given some great advice from a friend—and Folly contributor—about how to make it all a bit more bearable. 

The best advice, really, is to take it day by day, moment by moment, breath by breath. So far, nothing about this path to recovery has been linear, as is true with life and grief, so I remind myself to soften my expectations. As tempting as it is, I can’t let my mind wander too far into the future. There is still so much uncertainty and I’ve yet to find a crystal ball in this life. And so we wait. We find small ways to make our lives easier in the interim and thank the universe for the healthcare professionals who are helping take care of the big stuff. I just got done reading a book to Cole and will be taking my cues from its titular character: Good things come from taking it slow and steady. —Jess Mayhugh

Sometimes washing your face is the best gift you can give yourself

It might sound trivial but, after hurriedly crossing multiple state lines for my son, I found that having a self-care moment at the end of the day can make all the difference. Of course, living out of a suitcase has its limits (three ounces, to be exact), but there are still really luxurious products that come in small packages. These tiny toiletries allowed me to feel human during a really chaotic time. —JM

Meet pediatric travel nurse Andrea Davila, who always packs her Nespresso machine

Full disclosure: Andrea Davila was Cole’s nurse for a few shifts while he was at Boston Children’s Hospital. We have loved so many of the medical professionals who have cared for Cole, and we really enjoyed hearing about Andrea’s career as a travel nurse. I was curious what brought her to the nomadic nurse life, and how on earth she emotionally manages working in pediatric cardiology. Plus, she didn’t think I was a total weirdo for asking to interview her before we got discharged and moved to Johns Hopkins Children’s Center. Below, we chat about the pros and cons of travel nursing, some of her favorite places she has lived, and what she always brings with her along the way. —JM

Why were you first inspired to become a nurse?
I was always interested in helping people. And also I like science. I did really well in biology and was always interested in how the body worked. But, in my family, I didn’t have anyone who was in the medical field, so no one could tell me what it would look like. It was a big transition. But I had a friend that was a nurse before me, and she was able to talk me through while I was doing my pre-reqs in college. 

Did you always know you wanted to take the travel nurse path?
During nursing school, I had it in the back of my mind. The rates for travel nursing got really high during COVID because there was a ton of demand. I saw my friend do it and save a bunch of money to go to nurse practitioner school. But it was so intimidating to take that step. It was scary. I would have a recruiter and look at the listings for travel nurse contracts, but I would never pull the trigger. I grew up in Puerto Rico, and I moved to Florida in high school and went to college in Florida, so I had never lived anywhere by myself. I’m really close to my family, and my mom. It was just the fear of the unknown. 

What is the most challenging aspect of being a nomadic nurse? 
You never know what you’ll need. You’re essentially packing for your life. You have to find a place with a short-term lease, and you don’t know the area very well. You’re also learning the ins and outs of every hospital, which has their own policies and procedures. The practice is pretty much the same, but each place does things differently. I always say it’s the same, but in a different font. You’d be surprised how quick training is for travelers. The maximum amount I got was at Boston Children’s and that was two weeks. But usually it’s like a day or two. I was grateful that I had four and a half years of nursing under my belt before I started traveling. I don’t know if I would be able to just jump right in otherwise.

Give me your best travel and moving hacks.
I look for housing through a company called Furnished Finder. I try to find a place in a walkable area. It’s been so nice to be at a place in Boston where I can walk to my breakfast spot, walk to work. I had been in the suburbs of Charleston and didn’t like that, so I moved closer to downtown. Pack as light as you can. You can always buy what you need when you get there. Even sometimes, within a contract, you can move multiple times, so being as light with your packing as possible will help. Pack staple pieces based on the weather. I prefer driving to the new spot, if I can, especially because I have an 8-year-old dog. Invest in good, sturdy luggage. I have suitcases from Away and Samsonite—you want something that’s going to last. I also use reusable packing boxes, instead of cardboard ones, because they are stronger. And always pack a good coffeemaker. I promise you, you do not want to live on instant coffee. My Nespresso comes with me wherever I go. 

What is the best part about being a travel nurse? 
Of course, the money is good and there are always job postings all over the United States. Like I said, [before this] I never really left Florida. And I’m single and I don’t have any kids and I love the aspect of getting to look around and see what else is out there. You get to meet so many new people and explore a new place. I have loved getting to know Boston, and I got to test out if Charleston is a place I’d want to live. Anywhere I’ve worked, you always have the option to extend and it gives you more time to settle.

Do you think being a travel nurse gives you an advantage in your job?
There is something to be said for people who have only worked in one place and only know what they know. They’ve never seen anything outside of their hospital. Coming from different places, I can compare what has worked and what hasn’t, this medicine versus that; I’ve had the chance to see different treatments. For example, when I worked at Johns Hopkins in Florida, and kids would be on particular devices like a VAD (ventricular assist device), they were really good about mobilizing the patients; we would walk them around the unit. If it was safe, we would move them, whereas other places are much more strict. I think traveling around just gives you a more open mind, reminds you not everything needs to be done in a certain way. 

Do you think travel nurses get treated differently?
Sometimes, travelers don’t get a lot of liberty. If they have a really senior staff, they sometimes don’t trust travel nurses in the same way. Depending on the hospital, travelers might not get the more challenging assignments. Sometimes places are more comfortable with nurses having 7 to 10 years of experience there, rather than someone coming fresh off of orientation. But that is very facility-dependent. 

How do you handle the emotional weight of caring for kids?
It comes in waves. Sometimes it’s really rough. It’s normal to make a connection to your families and your patients, especially with those that are longer term. That’s always going to be hard and it’s normal to be sad at times. Starting out, I would work a lot of overtime and I didn’t take care of myself in the ways I should.

But now I try to do things outside of work to care for myself. I’ve gone in and out of therapy since I’ve been a nurse. It’s really needed. Even as much as I move around, I connect with nurses at each job. Having a good support system of friends who are nurses has been really helpful. I can talk to them and they understand, more so than my family ever can. My family and friends understand when to give me time alone. Alone time is so important. Sometimes I leave work and don’t even put music on. I had been so overstimulated by the thousands of beeps I heard during my shift.

Is there any age you prefer caring for the most?
Not just saying this, but around Cole’s age and a little bit older is my favorite. Anywhere from 6 months to 3 years old. They’re still fun enough and they interact, but they are babies. Once they get a little bit older, they can tell you no, and it gets more challenging. And then I actually really like teenagers. They’re more independent. They see you more as a resource. Of course, there are teenagers that are rough and every kid has their own personality. But I’m able to bond with teenagers and talk about social media or TV or whatever. We can develop that connection.

What’s the most rewarding part of your job?
When you see the really, really sick kids or kids that have been there for a very long time, make a full recovery. I’ve had families reach out to me thanking me, years later. Maybe they were a baby then and now they’re a toddler. Some of them have come back to visit or come back for a more routine appointment and I’m like, “Wow, I remember when you were just a peanut and now you’re walking around and talking.” Just knowing that you're part of that, that you did something to help them, is the best feeling. 

Welp, now I’m crying. What advice would you give to someone who wants to become a travel nurse but is scared like you were at the beginning?
Just try it. It might not be for everybody, but it’s such a great way to learn and explore potential places you might want to live. You need to have a pretty flexible personality for it, but if you are thinking about it, you should give it a shot. You can always go back home. 

“Our 2-year-old daughter now knows all the dance moves from the Spice Girls’ ‘Wannabe’ video, and says ‘Oh my god’ just like Ginger Spice.” —Folly reader Sam S.

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